About time

I am just as unfamiliar with the concept of the Gregorian calendar as I am with the speed of time. However, I do know that today is Miss Soha Ali Khan's birthday, and the mere fact that I know someone's birthdate means that I must wish them.
So, happy birthday Miss Soha Ali Khan!

Apart from that, I am also aware that Markiv tagged me 22 days ago, telling me to write about ten things I miss from the 90s. Way back from the 90s.
Now, being unfamiliar with the concept of the Gregorian calendar, and being born in the decade that people feel is the new 70s, I may or may not be able to decipher my thoughts out clearly.

Anywho, here's the laydown.

Life without dedicated news channels
I don't even know where to start attacking this piece of poetry. You show shots from weird parties, people I don't know, and probably never will, and call it news. Then everyone wonders where my GK went. You show death like there's no tomorrow, and call it clean. Then critics attack movies and sitcoms for showing so much blood and gore. You show porn, semi-censored, but your commentary outdoes the visuals. Then people wonder why other people are so damn obscene. You call Rakhi Sawant every week, at a scheduled time. Then I wonder why so many people are informed these days. You feature clips from stand up comedy shows right after the original show is over on some other channel. Then I wonder why people pay for all these channels at all. It's all in the news, anyway.
Back in the 90s though, they didn't have much of this, because they didn't have so many news channels at all. They had their normal channels and a couple of hours of daily news.
I miss that.

Life without competitive coaching institutions
At this time of the new millennium, when coaching centers and tutors are spawning faster than the clones of Agent Smith (I know, it's so 2003), competition isn't the only thing rising. Not only have they armed us with knives to step into this cut-throat world, they've taught us how to cut throats, too.
There's no point in talking about how school is ultimately responsible for giving birth to tuitions, and I've said it a million times already.
However, way back in the 90s, you didn't have so many of these. Tuitions were meant for the boondock saints who were about to fail three years in a row, and were kept concealed.

Carelessness
Well, I was a kid way back in the 90s. I pretty much still am, but way back in the 90s, thought and action didn't much step in the same sentence. And way back in the 90s, when I was a kid, less thought to actions didn't do much harm either. You fight with a friend, you're back at playing with him in the next hour. You sleep and miss your favorite TV show, you get to see a re-run whenever it's on. You do whatever, you're back at whatever.

Carefulness
Well, I was a kid way back in the 90s. I pretty much still am, but way back in the 90s, I was careful. So was everyone else at that age. I remember doing all my homework and submitting it a couple of days before I really needed to. I recall sitting at the table to eat dinner every night. No later than 9 in the post meridiem. I also vaguely remember following this fitness regimen called go-outside-and-play-something-in-the-evening.
Boy, where has all the discipline gone?

No post-exam trauma
Since I was a kid in the 90s, examinations were only feared by senior citizens of the school...er, students. With no exams, not only were the vacations usefully consumed in doing nothing, there was no sudden guilt, pain, fear or illness following me after I went through a minor pop quiz.


8-bit/16-bit/DOS based games
I don't remember a day I left without guiding Dave to the next level. Sure, Halo is far superior, and I know GTA isn't just better, it's better, baby, but old skool still owns.


So without much understanding of the Gregorian calendar, I've gone ahead and reminisced about six things from the past, way back from the 90s, that I'd like to see in the future. And because of some thing or the other, I'm assuming Markiv will cut me some slack for not only taking so long to write but also for not writing it out to the finish line.

Sheep.

This belated thing is getting to me

So what if the effects of alcohol are wearing off? So what if I don't like her as much as I used to? So what if she doesn't show up on TV as much as she did? So what if I couldn't care much less? So what if the thought continues to bother me? So what if this could possibly mean I'm growing up and leaving stuff behind? So what if these questions bounce on and off for eternity? So what if I haven't made much progress in getting over this system of self-contradiction? The mere fact that I know a person's birthdate means that I must wish them.

Hence, I should be courteous enough to wish them, with apologies for
taking so long.
So happy belated birthday Miss Rakshanda Khan.
And happy belated birthday to you to, Google.

And your post is up next, Markiv.

On second thought

Happy birthday, dear!

In the nation of the

There once was a teacher. A teacher like no other, but exactly like everyone else. A teacher not extremely old, but not very young either. A teacher who was wise, yet stupid.

She would go out every now and then, fill her mug with coffee, take a sip, and go back to analyzing mediocre question papers.
At times, she would have tea.

But amidst this seemingly action-packed and fast-paced world of hers, the truth had written monotony all over her life.

Tired of the way things were going, she woke up one morning and decided to do something far more adventurous - she decided to push her students into prostitution.

No, wait. Scratch that.

There once was a wannabe, a news channel and some old dude with vengeance on his mind.

As Mr. Vengeance Man began to discuss his plot, the other two predicted flawless popularity.
So the wannabe reporter magically transformed herself into a student of the teacher we spoke of not very long ago, and went on to share her blindfold with the world.
With a sham that could've lasted longer, she told everyone that the very teacher we spoke of not very long ago, was pushing kids into prostitution. Not only that, she also told us that she was one of those kids who had been pushed into prostitution by the same teacher we spoke of not very long ago.

Here's where the news monkey noticed that she couldn't do all of this by herself, so he closed his eyes with part of her bindfold, too.
Well aware of the fact that all of this was a lie, he put it on TV anyway.
Hey! This is India, and he can do anything he wants in the name of news!

Blah, blah blah.
Have you seen the new iPod Touch? And the new iPod nano? Man, it has
some evil dimensions...