Thursday, April 26, 2007

Drops of it

How tall is tall, anyway?

Mercury has gone where no skyscraper has gone before. Electricity is being used at a rate faster than the man who flew faster than the speeding bullet. Power outages occur at a rate more frequent that that, and the bill shows up with digits that couldn't have been printed.

At this time of the year, the time when heat has become capable of melting heat, a glass of water provides the satisfaction that washes away all other desires.
You no longer wish to eat food, you just want a glass of water, topped with ice. Audiophiles are willing to forget their headphones to the relief that a glass of moisture throws at them. Kids forget who's what and the where he is, just to dip their heads in the swimming pool. Perverts kick their letching habit, even, all for a perennial source of hydrogen dioxide, preferably close to freezing point.

Now back at the FHW, we understand your problems, and just to tell you how much we love you, we're going to hand out a recipe that even Sprite can't beat.
  1. Take a glass of water and squash half a lemon on top of it. Gravity will do the rest.
  2. Take spoon and stir.
  3. Add sugar to taste.
  4. Take spoon and stir. Again.
  5. Stare at glass for a couple of seconds.
  6. Drink.
I did it right, and it came out tasting pretty good. If a science student can do it, you can definitely do better.

13 comments:

  1. Why I wrote this is more of a mystery to me than it might be to you.

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  2. not really a mystery...i'm presently sitting without a shirt in my room and so is my entire hostel....hell u only put on proper clothes if you leave the hostel here.
    we are like spartans!
    we brave the ehat like no other
    we will not bow to this treacherous summer
    and we wear nothing but a loin cloth in this battle...

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  3. *heat

    and the loin cloth is more like a pair of shorts...but what the hell...we still go to battle with no armour on!

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  4. yeah..its hot...way too much....n gettin hotter.... ghar pe toh its f9... bt skul mein....n esp when u jsut get 2 games prds a week...u cant sure give BB a miss... n den d drops..d heat..d rashes..bloddy.... delhi cud sure afford lesser heat

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  5. i love lemonade!!!!


    n i lv winters as 'ell..wearin..green coat in skool..yummy!!

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  6. @avi:
    Forget affording it. It's time Delhi sold some heat...

    @aakarsh:
    That green coat is my only source of overflowing nostalgia.

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  7. not clear saar...
    1. Take a glass of water: glass of plastic, glass of steel, glass of glass, glass of water? not holding!

    and squash half a lemon on top of it. Gravity will do the rest.- hitting lemon on glass- squishing but spurting on all directions

    2. Take spoon and stir.
    i have spoon in kitchen. i dont have stir though!

    3. Add sugar to taste.
    who is taste???

    4. Take spoon and stir. Again.
    no stir- again....

    5. Stare at glass for a couple of seconds.
    stair? really? the climbings?
    6. Drink.
    SMOKE!


    --> ok these are those days of the month when girls get headaches and guys get stupid

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  8. @Mark IV:
    Summer has just begun. Here's how you can experience its cooler half (now with 78.58% better instructions):

    1.If you live in a home and have a kitchen where you have at least one cylindrical container small/big enough to pour and contain liquids:

    1.a. Walk into kitchen and pick up a cylindrical container small/big enough to pour and contain liquids.

    1.b. Put cylindrical container small/big enough to pour and contain liquids on the table.

    1.c. Take a lemon in your hand.

    1.d. Slice it into half using a knife or a sharp object. You can also tear it apart using your limbs or teeth if you prefer to play it old skool.

    1.e. Slowly bring the remaining lemon above the cylindrical container small/big enough to pour and contain liquids almost full of water.

    1.f. Squish gently with your hand or a post-modern squishing device.

    1.g. Take squashed lemon and do whatever with it. Just keep it away from the potential lemonade.

    1.h. If you've traveled outside the kitchen by now, move back in and take around 2 spoons (full) of sugar.

    1.i. Drop that sugar into the cylindrical container small/big enough to pour and contain liquids almost full of water.

    1.j. Stir with the spoon that you used to drop sugar. Just once. No double stirring.

    1.k. Aim your eyes onto the cylindrical container small/big enough to pour and contain liquids that you just messed around with. Open your eyes.

    1.l. Marvel at your creation.

    1.m. Marvel at your level of smartness. You successfully did whatever was written at the FHW.

    1.n. Pat yourself on the back or tell an adult to do so.

    1.o. Drink away.

    1.p. Kick the smoking habit. It can mess with your libido.

    If you don't live somewhere cool, I'll assume you're stuck without a kitchen. Just get a GLASS. OF STEEL OR ANY SUITABLE SOLID THAT IS NON-TOXIC. GET A LEMON. GET SOME SUGAR AND A SPOON. You don't need any more instructions. Just eat the lemon, drink the water, lick a sugary spoon and you're done.

    Happy, pappy?

    btw, can't tell ya how much I loved this comment. Gimmie some more :D

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  9. Yep. Heat it is. Hot! Can't even stand looking at a sweater or full hands. Gives me the "melts!"

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  10. Ill link this : http://crypticsouls.blogspot.com/2006/05/i-wonder.html

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  11. i agree about the electricity bill.. my comp is barely on for a few hours a day, dont even use any high wattage appliance and my bill touches 350! and i live alone!

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