Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Rant party


Clearly, people of this planet wish to peek deeper inside my life.

Here's your prize.

Teh Summer of

It takes a lot of work; a big, juicy bottle of concrete effort to wake up early in the morning. And with nothing to do but wait for college to commence, I made it my mission to do so.
I started waking up at no later than 12:30 PM the first day on. No sweat.

Later in the mornings of the post meridiem, I decided to watch some quality news -- what better to serve my appetite than IndiaTV?

And serve my appetite it did. I cannot thank God enough for my decision to switch to that holy channel. How else would I have been enlightened on the deep, political, cold-war-ish issues of the universe? How else would I have learned that life-forms from light-years away seek to dip cookies in milk?


I say a channel of the stature of IndiaTV should be celebrated. No other channel dares to contemplate a risk so supereme. No other channel delivers as much as this.
And as far as my beliefs go, I feel the owner of this sacred breed of electronic media should be awarded a Nobel Peace Prize. Not only has this noble man changed the face of Indian news by showcasing crap events from all around the galaxy, he has done his part to serve Mother Earth. By brilliantly executing news production of such awe worthy stories, he has told us that our planet serves a deeper, meaningful purpose in this ever-expanding universe -- milk production.
And soon after his efforts to advertise Cows in deep space suffice, we will become the №.1 supplier of dairy and dairy based products in the entire galaxy.

But for the owner of such a heralded organization, marketing a planet isn't enough.

He also does all that he can to ensure prevalence of safety amongst civilians by fighting crime in his own, wonderful way. He dresses up hires fake detectives and policemen to solve the most complex crimes with ease, assisting the actual police force in the process.

Now, which other channel does that? Which other channel goes as far as to buy police costumes? Which other channel points fingers in all directions when there's a murder? "YOU! or YOU! EVEN YOU COULD BE THE FREAKIN' CRIMINAL WHO BRUTALLY MURDERED THAT PERSON WITH A BLUNT KNIFE AFTER DRINKING A BEER AND SMELLING SOME PERFUME!"

So remember kids, IndiaTV is here to help you when you're about to get killed.
Next time something goes awkwardly out of hand, you know what to dial. Not 1-0-0. +91-120-3051000. That's where the real cops are.

...

And that's all I did this summer.
Apart from shredding some Stratocaster metal and working up some Python. And traveling to the west. And the south, briefly. And going live! twice.

*Packs bags for college*

5 comments:

  1. it is good to know that a news channel takes so much pain to unravel the story into the depth. so what of they pass on the pain to the readers.

    ReplyDelete
  2. kahan gai gayen?
    hahahaha

    ReplyDelete
  3. haha!! look at aakarsh's comment :P LOL

    ReplyDelete