This is not good.
My life has been put on hold. Now, all of it is more of a painting, hanging quietly on the wall, waiting to be noticed by a silent observer.
I came to realize that I have not faced the world. It's not easy at all, and it's becoming increasingly difficult to live with my own self. I know the value of everything that I do and all that I don't, but I still just sit there, still waiting for somewhat of a miracle to happen.
I know that those books that I have are meant to be read. I want to read them, and I want to ace my next test. But my motor nerve fails to send this message to my hands. I know that by not working hard, I will end up as a confused soul, trapped in regret. I know that by not studying today, I'm risking my future.
And if it keeps going this way, I'll end up struggling to live. I may have to steal food and money to live. I may have wanted posters of mine, posted at every local Police Station -- 4 of them, and with 2 of them at the same angle.
I also know that my performance is degrading, and this post would be better if I didn't post it at all. My work used to be better, but somewhere, something went wrong.
Please forgive me.
I just cannot bottle it in anymore. This weight is getting heavy and harder to hold.