Thursday, April 13, 2006

Into the Demon Days

This is not good.

My life has been put on hold. Now, all of it is more of a painting, hanging quietly on the wall, waiting to be noticed by a silent observer.


I came to realize that I have not faced the world. It's not easy at all, and it's becoming increasingly difficult to live with my own self. I know the value of everything that I do and all that I don't, but I still just sit there, still waiting for somewhat of a miracle to happen.

I know that those books that I have are meant to be read. I want to read them, and I want to ace my next test. But my motor nerve fails to send this message to my hands. I know that by not working hard, I will end up as a confused soul, trapped in regret. I know that by not studying today, I'm risking my future.

And if it keeps going this way, I'll end up struggling to live. I may have to steal food and money to live. I may have wanted posters of mine, posted at every local Police Station -- 4 of them, and with 2 of them at the same angle.

I also know that my performance is degrading, and this post would be better if I didn't post it at all. My work used to be better, but somewhere, something went wrong.

Please forgive me.
I just cannot bottle it in anymore. This weight is getting heavy and harder to hold.


  1. Once someone put a comment on your poem and said, " if you are really 14, then you need to take a break!"

    That's crap!
    However, it carries a meaning.

    You spend most of your time THINKING and talking to YOURSELF.

    You have to balance...

    remember what I had told you about "paralyzation"... I made two bloody graphs man.(phew!)

    In order to DO what you WANT to do, find something that motivates you?
    If not Sania, then may be someone else!!!

  2. You know Jack, as much as I would like to say it, You are right.

    And when you say this, I mean that you talk like my other side.
    True, I do talk to myself. And now that I come to think of it, I spend entire days into this...waste.

    Your graphs did help me, and now, they deserve another look.
    For whatever it is, I know I want to do what Sania has done. Maybe even when I don't play her game, I do look up to her, to reach that same level of fame.

    And to put it in 'em's own words, It's like I got all the ingredients, all I need is the urge, and suddenly it's a surge...

    Thank you once again Jack. I promise I will at least try to work hard, for you now, if not for me.

    PS: maan, who are you? Some god-sent messenger? :)


  3. hmm arent you in the 10th? Why you worrying so much? worry later after the 12th! unless you want to get into some nerdy school that requires you to take an entrance... but other than that chill.. for now will be your only time...

  4. man this BLOG is wonderful! But you are not 14 yrs, i'm sure. never mind even i did the same. one thing i must is cooool.

  5. @A-lite:
    Calm down need to get paranoid...

    Thanks a-lite!

    Thanks! :)

    And I think it's time I posted my birth certificate to prove that I was born in 1991! :P

  6. Brother, we all are "Allah ke Bande!"

  7. i think i have to wiegh the pros and cons...about my situation.. ;)

    I like what u write tho.

  8. @Mocking-S:
    Keep thinking, and thanks for liking what I write. I hope to meet all your expectations, so do come back :)

    and let's all play the violin. :P

  9. I am..

    why don ya link me to ur blog...?

    Viola..! We all ARE playing the violin....

  10. @Mocking-S:
    Don't tell me you didn't check out the side-bar! I've already linked to ya!

  11. my god! you haven't changed a BIT!