Friday, December 07, 2007

Glad to have you here

Well, this world sure does know how to keep my blog alive.
Or at least Sindhu knows for sure.

So here you are, randomness straight from the lab.
  1. I used to appreciate eating chicken wings. Now I don't.
  2. I haven't charged my cellphone for two days. I'm going for the record.
  3. This blog is no longer a 'few hundred words', it's 'a few hundred birthday wishes'. Psych.
  4. My yellow shirt tells you what cool looks like when I wear it.
  5. I thoroughly dislike not working fast enough, yet it took me an hour to type my thoughts out on this.
  6. If you don't already know, I like coffee better than tea. If you still don't believe it, I might have to spell it out for you.
  7. I've been thinking hard to write the six things you just read. This one was an easy chip.
There ya have it, folks.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Whatever this means...

Thought recollection didn't give abhas1 a hard time. He was hooked on to it like people on nicotine. What proved to be an adversary, though, was his contribution to some of those thoughts, which seemed to do what gasoline did to a hostile flame.
Menial jokes were acceptable to a certain degree, but laughing it all away and using speech as a spanner in the works didn't quite help. In fact, uncontrolled information coupled with confusion went its way to spew protectiveness, completely uncalled for, and the perception of such events as something ranging in the positive range could only be contemplated by those with somewhat of a myopic vision.

Abhas1 kicked the door open and draped himself in black.
After a little talk with the man in the mirror, he realized this was better off not being thought about.
A slight apology would do good, though.


You didn't get a word I said, did you?
Yeah, I was bored, too.

Friday, November 09, 2007


Well, it's that day of the year again; the time when you light up the night sky with fireworks and blow stuff up like it was in Iraq.

Blah blah blah, Happy Diwali and whatever.


Wednesday, November 07, 2007

On a personal note

Remember the seventh of November.
The day when truth saw no light,
yet was crazy enough to please, it might
continue still to linger on longer
like a bumper sticker's adhesive - stronger;
the day when possible it was
to possibly lie
and make people feel
like they thought otherwise;
the day she apologized
for something she did,
perhaps it left her demoralized;
the day she took her words back
maybe now
she wanted us back;
Remember, the seventh of November
the day I remembered V
and made poets gathered tremble;
the day I saw her eyes
like a man from December.

Saturday, November 03, 2007

Soe what?

At times, it just gets tiring.
The going gets tough, and you don't know if you're tough enough to keep going, to make it out.
At times, it just gets tiring to see yourself in the mirror, to see yourself draped in that blue cloth in hope of hitting the microphone again. It gets unassumingly unimaginable; to succumb to fear and know it, and pretend to escape it. At times, time seems to tick slower than it was a second ago, at times, unwillingly fast.
At times, you just lose it.
You see them on TV, the people who you think shouldn't really be; the news that isn't really still; the counter-reality runs. He's a superstar, and so is she, and so is that guy, and so is he, and that girl in red, and that guy with a plaid shirt.
At times, it's just plain annoying; to see what you wrote, read and re-read to see it still makes as much sense as it did before you read it.
An unusual shot of compulsive impulsiveness kicks in to synonymous behavior as sentences start to depend only on perception, and the reason you started out is only another vague memory.

And just as I felt it couldn't get worse, a kid woke up all the way on the other side. Silent transmission - State of Emergency.

Thursday, October 04, 2007

About time

I am just as unfamiliar with the concept of the Gregorian calendar as I am with the speed of time. However, I do know that today is Miss Soha Ali Khan's birthday, and the mere fact that I know someone's birthdate means that I must wish them.
So, happy birthday Miss Soha Ali Khan!

Apart from that, I am also aware that Markiv tagged me 22 days ago, telling me to write about ten things I miss from the 90s. Way back from the 90s.
Now, being unfamiliar with the concept of the Gregorian calendar, and being born in the decade that people feel is the new 70s, I may or may not be able to decipher my thoughts out clearly.

Anywho, here's the laydown.

Life without dedicated news channels
I don't even know where to start attacking this piece of poetry. You show shots from weird parties, people I don't know, and probably never will, and call it news. Then everyone wonders where my GK went. You show death like there's no tomorrow, and call it clean. Then critics attack movies and sitcoms for showing so much blood and gore. You show porn, semi-censored, but your commentary outdoes the visuals. Then people wonder why other people are so damn obscene. You call Rakhi Sawant every week, at a scheduled time. Then I wonder why so many people are informed these days. You feature clips from stand up comedy shows right after the original show is over on some other channel. Then I wonder why people pay for all these channels at all. It's all in the news, anyway.
Back in the 90s though, they didn't have much of this, because they didn't have so many news channels at all. They had their normal channels and a couple of hours of daily news.
I miss that.

Life without competitive coaching institutions
At this time of the new millennium, when coaching centers and tutors are spawning faster than the clones of Agent Smith (I know, it's so 2003), competition isn't the only thing rising. Not only have they armed us with knives to step into this cut-throat world, they've taught us how to cut throats, too.
There's no point in talking about how school is ultimately responsible for giving birth to tuitions, and I've said it a million times already.
However, way back in the 90s, you didn't have so many of these. Tuitions were meant for the boondock saints who were about to fail three years in a row, and were kept concealed.

Well, I was a kid way back in the 90s. I pretty much still am, but way back in the 90s, thought and action didn't much step in the same sentence. And way back in the 90s, when I was a kid, less thought to actions didn't do much harm either. You fight with a friend, you're back at playing with him in the next hour. You sleep and miss your favorite TV show, you get to see a re-run whenever it's on. You do whatever, you're back at whatever.

Well, I was a kid way back in the 90s. I pretty much still am, but way back in the 90s, I was careful. So was everyone else at that age. I remember doing all my homework and submitting it a couple of days before I really needed to. I recall sitting at the table to eat dinner every night. No later than 9 in the post meridiem. I also vaguely remember following this fitness regimen called go-outside-and-play-something-in-the-evening.
Boy, where has all the discipline gone?

No post-exam trauma
Since I was a kid in the 90s, examinations were only feared by senior citizens of the, students. With no exams, not only were the vacations usefully consumed in doing nothing, there was no sudden guilt, pain, fear or illness following me after I went through a minor pop quiz.

8-bit/16-bit/DOS based games

I don't remember a day I left without guiding Dave to the next level. Sure, Halo is far superior, and I know GTA isn't just better, it's better, baby, but old skool still owns.

So without much understanding of the Gregorian calendar, I've gone ahead and reminisced about six things from the past, way back from the 90s, that I'd like to see in the future. And because of some thing or the other, I'm assuming Markiv will cut me some slack for not only taking so long to write but also for not writing it out to the finish line.


Saturday, September 29, 2007

This belated thing is getting to me

So what if the effects of alcohol are wearing off? So what if I don't like her as much as I used to? So what if she doesn't show up on TV as much as she did? So what if I couldn't care much less? So what if the thought continues to bother me? So what if this could possibly mean I'm growing up and leaving stuff behind? So what if these questions bounce on and off for eternity? So what if I haven't made much progress in getting over this system of self-contradiction? The mere fact that I know a person's birthdate means that I must wish them.

Hence, I should be courteous enough to wish them, with apologies for
taking so long.
So happy belated birthday Miss Rakshanda Khan.
And happy belated birthday to you to, Google.

And your post is up next, Markiv.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

On second thought

Happy birthday, dear!

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

In the nation of the

There once was a teacher. A teacher like no other, but exactly like everyone else. A teacher not extremely old, but not very young either. A teacher who was wise, yet stupid.

She would go out every now and then, fill her mug with coffee, take a sip, and go back to analyzing mediocre question papers.
At times, she would have tea.

But amidst this seemingly action-packed and fast-paced world of hers, the truth had written monotony all over her life.

Tired of the way things were going, she woke up one morning and decided to do something far more adventurous - she decided to push her students into prostitution.

No, wait. Scratch that.

There once was a wannabe, a news channel and some old dude with vengeance on his mind.

As Mr. Vengeance Man began to discuss his plot, the other two predicted flawless popularity.
So the wannabe reporter magically transformed herself into a student of the teacher we spoke of not very long ago, and went on to share her blindfold with the world.
With a sham that could've lasted longer, she told everyone that the very teacher we spoke of not very long ago, was pushing kids into prostitution. Not only that, she also told us that she was one of those kids who had been pushed into prostitution by the same teacher we spoke of not very long ago.

Here's where the news monkey noticed that she couldn't do all of this by herself, so he closed his eyes with part of her bindfold, too.
Well aware of the fact that all of this was a lie, he put it on TV anyway.
Hey! This is India, and he can do anything he wants in the name of news!

Blah, blah blah.
Have you seen the new iPod Touch? And the new iPod nano? Man, it has
some evil dimensions...

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Festivus, paint and television

I wish I had a sister like that.
Or maybe, just hugging Miss Soha Ali Khan every now and then would do.

Or maybe, I should just do stuff cool enough for someone to hang stuff on a wall.

I think I'll stick with the hugs.

Tuesday, July 31, 2007


Back as kids, when I was kiddish-er and my age supported my behavior, I had some weird friends. The kind of kids who would be brainwashed by a movie and go out to do something completely kooky and bizarre; keepers of a stranger phenomenon who would say words they might never know the meaning of. They were the kind of guys who'd go wacky at times and take off the plugs of a tire. Deflation was fun, to them, at least.
Yeah, they were weird, alright.
What is intriguing, though, is that now, the same kids are responsible children who might end up making their parents proud one day.

And now, as I drive my writing to speaking about opinions that law might not approve of, I feel Sanjay Dutt was one such kid. Maybe deflating tires wasn't his thing, but I'm sure when he came about "possessing illegal weaponry", he wasn't completely aware of what he was doing, and I highly doubt he had any intentions of shifting to the dark side; it was just something kooky and bizarre, the keeper of a stranger phenomenon.

Sure, he was a bit wacky at that point of time, but he's not what he was. Not now.

The High Court is somewhat dull (read retarded). It takes them 14 years to make a decision. They might have been working day in and day out at the back end, but to me, they just suddenly popped up with what happened back in 1993.
And that's what makes it more painful.
Sanjay might have been a bit wacky at that point of time, but he's not what he was. Not now, 14 years later. Not now, when a deeper sense of maturity has caught hold of him.
And it wouldn't have hurt so much if he was to be put behind bars then, immediately after they felt something went wrong.

But they took their time.
And time didn't heal wounds.

Law seems to work with no sympathy either. It seems to work mercilessly. Even though it might be slow to deliver, it delivers justice. It seeks out mistakes from the past and makes sure no one gets away.
It seeks out people like a homing missile, and this time, it got Munnabhai.

He's unbreakable, I tell ya.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

It gets better everytime

There's nothing like a good 'ol game of tag to wake you up with the falling sun.
Like every other time I test my keyboard for drool resistance, a sudden shriek of "YOU'RE TAGGED" brings me back to life, alive to buy another keyboard to test for saliva immunity.

Anywho, here's the whatever.

1.(a) Pick out a scar you have..
Points finger to right side of forehead.

(b) ..and explain how you got it
Happened when I was a year old. At the joyous event of someone's party, I took the pain of picking up a rocking horse and climbing up a set of l-o-n-g, spiral stairs when I came tumbling down to a highly predictable fall.
Talk about turning the tables on joyous...heh...Hey! MY Horsie!

2. What does your phone look like?
Like a rectangle. With loads of other rectangles sitting inside it.
Looks to me like a normal phone. It's half black. And half steel-ish!
If that doesn't seem to be enough, do search google for "Nokia N70".

What does your phone look like?

3. What is on the walls of your bedroom?

Blue paint. And a clock. And a picture of me and my Dad. And me at Universal Studios.

4. What is your current desktop picture?
Earth. And I make my own wallpapers, thank you.
Join the abhas1 fanbase! Set his wallpapers as your desktop pictures!

But it used to be Billie Joe from Bullet in a Bible. Yeah, I digress.

5. Do you believe in gay marriage?
Do you?

6. What do you want more than anything right now?
Long-lasting celebrity status with minimal laziness and procrastin-abilities. And a statue of mine somewhere in the center of Delhi.

Have I ever told you that a boy has the right to dream?

7. What time were you born?

Sometime in the evening of the tenth day of the second month of the first year after MCMXC.

8. Are your parents still together?

Yes. What makes me wonder, though, is why you ask.

9. Last person who made you cry?

Can't recall, but I'm positive it was me.

10. What is your favorite perfume/cologne?

The Ferrari perfume. Whichever one.
Yeah, I'm a show-off. Bring it on, world!

11. What kind of hair/eye color do you like in the opposite sex?

I would have answered this question if you had the word 'smile' mentioned somewhere.

12. What are you listening to?

Green Day
American Idiot

13. Do you get scared of the dark?

Naah. I'm used to it.

14. Do you like pain killers?

I'll tell you right after I take one.

15. Are you too shy to ask someone out?

Big time.
I would stare at someone all my life and never ask them out. At all.
So if you're reading this and you like me (woah! you do both?!), do choose to break the ice or it might never happen at all. At all!

16. If you could eat anything right now, what would it be?

Information? Naah, let's stick to chicken.

17. Who was the last person you made mad?

Teenage angst looks with disgust at everyone around.

18. Is anyone in love with you?

I don't know Mr. Question, I don't know.

And the next lucky contestants are:


and whoever just read this.

Loadsa thanks Markiv, couldn't have come out of my state of blog-o-pause without ya!

Monday, July 02, 2007

I should be finishing my homework right now

Waking up to the first day of school after the vacations is like waking up to a clear blue sky after last night's hangover party. You snap back to reality faster than you read this line.
The only difference is that last night's hangover party was more like a month long. And the clear blue sky was somewhat cloudy.

All of a sudden, Green Day stops strumming, and The Eminem Show reaches its 'outro'. All of a sudden, you're back at where you left off, but they're ahead from where they started. All of a sudden, you're in the yellow bus again, seated next to the window seat draped in that blue uniform.
Little did you know, you're not alone.
All of a sudden, the bell rings and people who seem to speak to all of the class at once line up outside your classroom door.
Before you know it, the next class has begun.
All of a sudden, 'I can handle it' becomes the less thought about thought.

And who puts surveillance cameras in school?

Monday, June 25, 2007

Surgery smurgery

The guys back at Unofficial Standards, Inc. were kind enough to send me a do-it-all license. I'm guessing they took good note of my age and the ongoing events in this country, and let me do whatever.

So now, I can take over the wheel on the highway, even though I might have trouble going higher than the second gear. In fact, I think now I can drink vodka straight out of the bottle and dance it out in the rave scene. I think now I can even smoke, chew and eat tobacco. In fact, I think I can do all of that and drive at the very same time. In fact, I think I've been allowed to do all that since the day I first opened my eyes. It's just that I would be upsetting almost all the
real authorities, and might even end up in juvenille court.

But, who cares?
Driving around in the barrio with a genuine cuban cigar in my mouth definitely beats being 15, performing surgery and taping it all up, right Dhileepan?

Monday, June 11, 2007

Of all the days

*tap, tap*

Mic che..


Anyone here?


Is this thing on?
Hey! Cleaning staff, sound technicians! Who wants freeform?
Shut up man, this stuff is useless inside your head.
Oh, come on people! Is this any way to treat an old-
Quiet! Light's out now. You feel like sittin' here all night?

(Walking to the door)
I think it's time to blow this thing, get everybody in it together. Those were the conspicuous ones, yet so intricately laced. Envy was an inevitable one, couldn't have countered it either way. It was too subliminal, and when it arose, I was asleep at the switch. Where was my bebop then...
Man, are you still talking to yourself?
Shut up and close the door. I'm leaving aren't I?

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Days like these

When you have memories of a place where you could hear music when there was nothing playing, when you realize that the only social circle you had existed there, when you start believing that those 5.5 hours were the only real fun in your life, when you start thinking that 'you can handle it' and use that place for everything other that what it was meant to be...

When you begin enjoying something that most other kids would rather stay away from, then, and only then, do you fill yourself with the bravery to walk up to the calendar and count the number of days remaining till the summer vacation gets over and you hit school doors again.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Drops of it

How tall is tall, anyway?

Mercury has gone where no skyscraper has gone before. Electricity is being used at a rate faster than the man who flew faster than the speeding bullet. Power outages occur at a rate more frequent that that, and the bill shows up with digits that couldn't have been printed.

At this time of the year, the time when heat has become capable of melting heat, a glass of water provides the satisfaction that washes away all other desires.
You no longer wish to eat food, you just want a glass of water, topped with ice. Audiophiles are willing to forget their headphones to the relief that a glass of moisture throws at them. Kids forget who's what and the where he is, just to dip their heads in the swimming pool. Perverts kick their letching habit, even, all for a perennial source of hydrogen dioxide, preferably close to freezing point.

Now back at the FHW, we understand your problems, and just to tell you how much we love you, we're going to hand out a recipe that even Sprite can't beat.
  1. Take a glass of water and squash half a lemon on top of it. Gravity will do the rest.
  2. Take spoon and stir.
  3. Add sugar to taste.
  4. Take spoon and stir. Again.
  5. Stare at glass for a couple of seconds.
  6. Drink.
I did it right, and it came out tasting pretty good. If a science student can do it, you can definitely do better.

Saturday, April 21, 2007

13 is unlucky for some

Lbh pbhyq'ir tbggra njnl jvgu zheqre lrfgreqnl. Guvf jbeyq jnf gbb bofrffrq jvgu gur 'jrqqvat bs n qrpnqr'.
Fpubby vf pbzvat gb n tenqhny naq hajnagrq ohg arprffnel raq.
Vaqvn arrqf orggre cbyvgvpvnaf. Enuhy Tnaquv vf bhgfcbxra.
Vf vg bire sbe Fnavn?
Jurer vf zl yvsr tbvat, naljnl. V qba'g fghql ng nyy. Qb V rira jnag gb nalzber?
Jung vf gur VVG ernyyl?
Fb jung vs V yvxr n pbhcyr bs tveyf?!
Jung? JUNG?

Using a little known technique that Sat is well versed with, the amoeba spits out a minute percentage of his understandable feelings.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

The year sans successors

The first day of the last year started off without much of a celebration, and I didn't even realize any sort of difference between this and its predecessor, apart from the set of stairs I have to climb now. And with that said, the seventh day, without much need to mention, is kind of boring. Especially chemistry.

I found my mind in a brown paper bag, within.
I walk down the hallway in this newfound floor after I change the tense. For some reason, purple smoke and odor fill the north-west corner, the place that perfectly opposes the laboratory. I chuck grammar and meaning out the window, and then, the alarm screams "Wake up!" in my face.
The air conditioner tries its very best, yet I still wake up to face the Fahrenheit touching the Hawaiian temperature.

This is the XII, people, the ex-aye-eye.

Friday, March 30, 2007

Moments, II

In one fell swoop, all that is taken away. How it happened is something you'll probably never find out, but you don't care anyway.
You revisit the sea of sorrow you were previously drowning in, and you now wear lenses that make you color-blind.

'No miracles happen' is the first thought you come across when you begin losing faith in everything you had it in. Veins pop out and you push yourself under a pillow, calling it your best escape.
What you fail to realize is the distance you can run away.

Life is complicated, and I may not have described it well enough, but some moments will tell you what I couldn't.

Thursday, March 29, 2007


You walk into your home, tired and worked up. Anything can spark off a nuclear meltdown within you. You no longer feel home is a sweet home, and you'd rather walk out right this instant.
But choices leave you with no other option. You stay, and you sulk in within yourself, regretting every moment of your existence. Right now, you can't even think straight, because anger has begun driving you, and you are no longer in control of the wheel.

You don't know why you're angry, and as the clock moves forth, the reason becomes like a landscape being shot in macro.
As the cause begins to blur, actions seem to sharpen. You feel it's all just a waste, and you give up.
You kick the can out the window.

Then, a surprising turn of events turn the whole table that you began playing at. It's like your spades just turned into a trinity of hearts. Anger begins rushing out of you like a whirlpool, and colors fill your view. Home is suddenly the sweetest place to be, and couldn't have been better.
Up till now, it's just been a load of similes and metaphors. But when a smile pushes away all that angst, you know miracles do happen.

Life is beautiful, and I may not have described it well enough, but some moments will tell you what I couldn't.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

They're coming

Whenever I sit down to write something positive about the government, the police and the like, I feel crippled, and to a certain extent, I move as fast in writing as a snail in the Olympics.
Maybe it's the afterimage of the products of the RGV Factory (among others that portray the law from the dark side) that has influenced me and left me unable to speak out about the fact that all of them aren't evil and/or corrupt.
The truth is that they're all not bad. Some of them do worship their uniforms, and agree to put service before self. The only problem is that some of them are corrupt, and if movies were to be trusted, they've grown in number in the recent past.
Nevertheless, ex dolo malo non oritur actio.

Those who don't resolve to bribes to make an extra penny, are the true heroes. They're the ones you can trust and call for help, because you'll know for sure that they're coming. They're the Saints, and the Saints...well, they're coming.

New Scanned Document 002

This is the front page of Times Of India, perhaps the Student Edition.

Monday, February 19, 2007

Luck Today?

I'd love to see this turn out truthfully.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007


Normally, you wouldn't see me talking about Valentine's day. I'd call it one of the useless celebrations out there, but that's just what you'd hear me say on normal occasions.
This occasion isn't one so.

For those who can make it possible, I suggest you go out with two girlfriends instead of one. And those who can go out with two, I'd recommend three. For those who can't, make sure you have at least one special person to spend time with.
And once you're out, make sure you hold hands and walk all over the park, sit on all the benches and do whatever it takes to pull in Shiv Sena's attention. Prove their foundation of beliefs wrong, because they don't realize it themselves.

Before I move any further, how's about we sit down and introspect about where all this is going?
Notice that Shiv Sena fails to work on emotions, and it has a reason for every one of its actions. Although, either they lose all confidence in front of the news cam. or have no clear reasons for what they're doing at all.
One of them reports that V-Day should be stopped from being "celebrated" because it's harming the Indian culture. If that's true, then he must also dislike boys from meeting girls in the first place, and to that, his first target must be the co-ed schooling system. So, why not just make boy and girl schools separate?
The other suggests that V-day is a display of vulgar activities. Really? What's so special about V-day at that? Is there anything that's keeping me from doing that on a regular Wednesday? Or is it allowed every other day except Valentine's time? If not, then why not take a brigade marching around everyday and stop male-female eye contact?
And the finest one of them all, "The boy likes the girl, and the girl gets married to someone else, but the boy remains lovestruck, so their parents suffer."

Perhaps Shiv Sena is just a conspiracy; a group of people who never had any luck in their love life, and they envy those who have someone to smile at. Perhaps they cannot bear all this, because they never had all this, in spite of wanting all this.

This Valentine's, say no to Shiv Sena.
Prove them wrong, guys. "Celebrate" Valentine's all week long.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

When XVI

One year ago, I felt I needed to do more. I felt the need to work harder just to feel better inside. Planning and thinking went over the top, but actions were minutely behind in the race.
One year ago, I turned 15.
Now, I'm at 16, and I'm still left feeling the same way.

Being the amoeba that I am, fission is my birthright; I've split myself into 3 parts. Now, take this not as a way of reproduction, but as different mes to different situations.
The first me wants to advance, evolve, work hard and move forth to hitting the spot as the revolutionizer. He knows what he wants, and he knows he'll get it. In fact, he's devised more ways than one to gain access to all this.
Teil zwei is the new kid on the block, and he'll stay that way for most of eternity, for his beliefs revolve around a statement many refer to as "but I don't wanna grow up!". He's fresh off the course guys, be kind.
And then, there was a third.
Best we mention less about this guy here, for we've already heard his voice for over a year. He just wants to wait a little longer before he could start doing his work. Procrastination be his weapon of choice, he can't wait to push life into later. And when later comes, he still doesn't want to do anything...

Put me on a raincheck for far more vivid details, time now for transparent confetti.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

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